Listening as stillness

It’s been difficult for me to keep my mouth shut. I’m one of those people who, if I see something not working up to my standard, I want to rush in and fix it. I want to work in a place that exemplifies my own expectations of awesomeness. So, it’s been difficult these last few months. I’ve needed to keep my mouth shut when maybe, in other situations, I would have spoken out. I’ve needed to learn how to listen, contemplate and take note of ideas. I’ve learned how to be still.

It’s an incredibly valuable skill – stillness. Action without acting. The more I reflect on how I approach my life, my career, my relationships, the more I see that action without thought has driven many of my choices. I think I see that light at the end and I devise a system to get us there then Bam! I pop it into action and wonder why it falters and, ultimately, fails. I now find myself wondering if this is why I prefer to work with female heads of school – the generalized and acculturated push to listen first, act second or the disincentive to act rashly. By taking out the need to act, it puts you in a more active role as a listener and one who is seeking to understand. I don’t need to prove my understanding by acting, but rather through my words and actions – do I actually understand the position of those with whom I am working as well as the system within which we are operating? I work to understand. And I stop before I act because actions now might be rash and will certainly be uninformed.

My first three months in this position have taught me much but, most importantly, they have helped me to learn how to listen without the intent to act. Listen with stillness and a sincere drive to understand.